I said I would be a better person, in which I am.

I said I would be more personable yet not stupid.

I said I would be more open yet not trusting.

I said I would be less out spoken yet real in a respectful manner.

I said I don’t have to like you nor do we have to be friends, but I will respect you.

I said that my life would be better, only if people would repect me too.

I said I would do better to excel, to become what I know I shall be.

I said that people wouldn’t affect me, but they do.

I said that life is hard, for what it is, for what we make it out to be.

I said I wouldn’t fall in love but I did!

I said I would strive for more, yet not knock someone from their blessing.

I said this would get easy, only harder it have gotten.

I said that no one understands, no one can if you don’t wish to relate.

Who said I ever said that I was perfect cause in fact I am not perfect. An imperfect flaw I am!

Who Said?? No I said!!

The end

This Lifestyle can be so heartbreaking. People make this lifestyle out to be so horrible, yet is not the lifestyle its the people who live the lifestyle that makes it what it is. People look at this lifestyle and think its so degrading, indeed it can be. With that being said its not the lifestyle its the people and its more of the gay males who make the LGBT lifestyles out to be what it is today. People look down upon us due to the stories and experiences they have had with the gay lifestyle. Majority of gay males don’t care about their lives nor their health or the lives and health of others. HIV is spreading within the gay lifestyle rapidly and no one seems to care.  If you don’t care about your health, that gives others the reason not to care also. When your putting not only yourself in danger your affecting the life of someone else and its so sad that people have let it get this far. If you don’t care no one will. People outside the Gay Lifestyle look at it to be nasty, shameful, and there are other derogatory words that could describe what others outside the Lifestyle may think. In this lifestyle you face so many dangerous situation that you may not be aware of, yet you sometimes can prevent anything from happening. Why must one go around having unprotected sex knowing the risk yet not acknowledgingit. Why must one be so stupid believing someone you don’t trust. The young gays have to be aware, meaning to not trust dick, balls, and ass! The only thing you need to trust is a condom, because there are men out there that don’t care who they spread HIV to, they care nothing about your well being and that should tell you a lot about their character, and if you believe them and assume the position that lets them know you don’t either, yet you don’t realize what you have done until its done. Believe in a relationship, believe in love, believe in a lifetime partner.

 I myself is a Gay individual who prides ones self on being healthy and not stupid and simple minded I speak on this due to the fact that no one will and its more to this lifestyle than just sex, and trying/wanting to have sexual relations with every guy that may walks and not everyone that live this lifestyle is HIV positive. I don’t approve on degrading my body. That’s just not in my character. I feel that the view that have been given to the world only makes up a small percent to what really defines this lifestyle. People opinions of this lifestyle can be harsh, yet their only judging the lifestyle based on what they have experienced, I myself don’t fault them for doing so.

 I feel everyone is entitled to their own opinion and should have the right to voice it. I also feel as if the Gay Males don’t support each other as they should. Instead of looking down on one another for what one do have and one don’t have or vise-verse, we should be helping and lifting one another up to make this lifestyle better and to show people that don’t believe in this lifestyle that its no different than living the straight lifestyle.

We have hate for other LGBT lifestyle, yet why hate your on lifestyle when their not the ones who disagree, its the outside world that don’t agree with the way you may live your life, yet we’re not focused on the main problem. We’re fighting one another when we should be taking the anger and gearing it towards the people who don’t believe in who we are as an human being.

Before you judge someone take the time to realize just that, no matter what lifestyle we may choose or what path we decide to bark upon we are all human beings, that have feeling, that wants more out of life than just being look down on. Not everyone thinks like me, not everyone have the same view point as me but I am pretty damn sure that I am not the only one who may see the problem, yet some see the problem but choose to ignore it! People get killed everyday due to who they are and what they believe in and I myself feel that is wrong and I myself feel that this lifestyle, not  just this lifestyle of being a homosexual but this lifestyle of being a human being could be so much better and respected if we all had an open mind about everything, I accept the fact that we don’t and we all have different views and perspectives.

People always remember to Stay safe and be aware and more supportive of one another, because if you don’t care for yourself no one else will give a fuck and that’s just that!

Rap it up and GET TESTED…. stay healthy!!!

Be supportive and strive for more!

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.

PSALMS 32:8

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Lately I have been questioning God, who am I to be questioning our heavenly father. My great aunt always said, He might not come when you want him, but trust he’s always on time. Through any situation you have to keep faith and strongly believe in God. Not only in time of need, but everyday to just thank him for bringing you this far. You will get no were in life without God guiding you, your life could be so much worse. We sometimes take things for granted that God have given us, just to watch him take them away due to us being ungrateful. Everything in life happens for a reason, yet it is he who already know our life’s plan before hand. Lose faith in God and what your life flash before your eyes. God is an awesome god, the father of reasoning. We often ask God why, we fail to realize and ask our selves why not. With everything you do its a lesson to be taught. Maybe its a sign from God, we often fail to realize that God maybe telling us something  and we’re to worried about material things and things that dont really matter being blind to what it is God is trying to tell us. Sometimes we ask God to send us a sign not knowing he have already done his job. We just need to take the time to thank him and pay more attention to what it is God is telling us. God is a healer, he will see to it that all your rainy days are filled with sunshine. Just never lose faith in God for it was he who died on the cross for us. We honestly owe him our life! I will do your will Jesus.

My Prayer

Jesus I call upon your name our heavenly father to watch over me, guide me lead me down the right path, I need you in my life heavenly father, I honestly cant do this without you, its impossible. I pray for the strength to make it through what ever I have to go through to do your will Jesus, I have lost my way and I look to you to be my light in the dark, my protection against evil and my leader to lead me all the way. Jesus I also come to you to grant me with the courage to change my ways, my ways have affected many and caused pain, I pray for courage to become a better person, to make life a little bit easier. I pray for peace, father peace is what I need in my life, im becoming a man but inside i still have childish ways and im trying to change I am, Jesus if you could just grant me the patients and the power to conquer it all. I realize nothing matters in life if God is not included, everything else we honestly dont need. Jesus this is were I let go and let God, I need your help in becoming an adult. All things are possible if you believe in the Lord. Jesus please if you would just watch on me! Amen

Its hard to explain your self when you feel no one will understands, most of all its hard to explain your self when you have no clue in doing a such thing. I fear that due to me being a complicated and complex individual no one will ever understand me, which leads me to one of my biggest fears and thats being alone!! How can you be with someone if you dont fully understand them. Its so hard for me to explain myself and to articulate it in away others will understand as well. I’m the type of person that bottles up my emotions which leads me to shutting down when it come to explaining how I really feel. I lose my train of thought, which causes me to lose my words and forget it all. I’m better at writing down how I feel, yet I know its not healthy. I strongly feel no one understands me, we as humans are different so we handle things differently, you cant expect someone to take a situation one way and the other person take it the same exact way. Its impossible. We all have different views and aspects of life! Sometimes, I wish I could talk to someone about all my problems but im afraid of being judge.

Awwww, Just got a random message, saying my blog is really touching and one of my certain experiences and blog hit a spot they went through in their life and I have good poetry ;)!!!!

For future readers and ppl who have read my blog, THANKS.

I love that song! She honestly spoke on some real shit!!!!!

To laugh, To love, To learn

To deal, to cope, to cherish

To overcome, to accomplished, to exceed

To be with, to be without, to be happy

To depend, to be independent, to be a friend

To conqure, to fail, to win

To be, or not to be, to be judged.

To be he for he is to be me.

To love for he shall see.

To give, to take, to be equal

To have the have not

To be seen, to be invisible, to not being able to notice

To be real, to be fake, to be you.

To be the world, only if the world could be.

To be